Part II – The Shift: We Must Bring Love with Us
In part I of Week Six blog, we were exploring the question, Can it be that I am more interested in being safe than I am in being loved?
Once you admit this possibility, everything changes. Through fairy tales we were raised with, friends and the general ether, many of us, as women, were taught a fundamental lie about love – We are taught that need to we go out into the world to find it, as though love is something another person possesses that we can extract if we’re clever enough, or attractive or good enough.
But the truth is simpler and more demanding: We go into relationship looking for love, not realizing that we must bring love WITH us.
This is the shift from scarcity to generosity. When we believe love is scarce – something to be found, earned, or won – we approach relationships from depletion. We come with our hands out, asking “What can you give me? Will you fill this emptiness? Can you make me feel worthy?”
But when we bring love with us, we arrive full. We come as generous beings capable of offering care, presence, curiosity, and kindness. We don’t need to extract these things from another person because we’re already sourced from within.
This doesn’t mean we don’t need others or that we’re self-sufficient islands. It means we take responsibility for our own emotional landscape. We cultivate love inside ourselves – through self-compassion, through connection with what’s sacred to us, through practices that fill our well – so that when we meet another, we’re offering an overflow rather than demanding a rescue.
The Practice of Generous Presence
Generosity in relationship isn’t about grand gestures. It’s about the small, daily choice to show up with love rather than withholding. It’s about offering your authentic self rather than a carefully curated version designed to be safe. It’s about being interested in who the other person truly is rather than whether they can meet your checklist.
When we bring love with us, we ask different questions. These include:
- How can I be present to this person?
- What would it look like to show up with an open heart right now?
- Where am I withholding, and what would it feel like to offer generously instead?
This is vulnerable work. Bringing love with us means risking that it might not be received. It means offering without guarantee. It means choosing love over safety, again and again.
A Practice: The Generous Heart Meditation
Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably for a few minutes. Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
Begin by bringing your attention to your breath. Notice the natural rhythm of breathing in and breathing out.
Now, bring your awareness to your heart center. Place a hand there if it feels supportive. With each inhale, imagine breathing light and warmth into your heart. With each exhale, let your heart soften and expand.
Ask yourself gently: Where am I holding back in my relationships? Where am I choosing safety over love?
Don’t judge what arises. Simply notice. See if you can sense it in your body – perhaps a tightness in your chest, a guardedness in your belly, a holding in your shoulders.
Now imagine what it might feel like to soften that protection just a little. What would it be like to bring love to this moment? Not to someone else – just here, to yourself, to this exploration.
Breathe into that possibility. Let yourself feel what generosity might feel like – toward yourself first, and then perhaps extending outward.
When you’re ready, ask: What’s one small way I could bring more love with me today?
Sit with whatever arises. Then gently open your eyes. Journal what emerges.
The Invitation
This work of bringing love with us, of choosing generosity over protection, of living the question rather than rushing to safety – this is how we call in The One. Not by becoming perfect or by finally being “ready enough,” but by becoming willing. Willing to show up. Willing to risk. Willing to bring our whole hearts to the possibility of love.
If you’re recognizing yourself in these patterns – if you’re sensing that you’ve been choosing safety over love or trying to extract rather than offer – you’re not alone. This is sacred work, and it is work we don’t have to do alone.
I invite you consider living these questions, and discover what becomes possible when you show up with a generous heart.
Ready to explore these patterns more deeply? I’d love to support you in this journey. Connect with me for coaching at (coaching link to book a session) to discover what’s possible when you bring love with you.