Connecting the Dots on Your Journey to Love
Hello again. We have been on this transformative journey using Katherine Woodward Thomas’s “Calling in the One,” since January, where we set our intentions and vision, courageously unloaded our emotional baggage in Week 2, and processed our deepest stories in Week 3. Now, in Week 4, we are going to reset our intentions and begin to visualize our next steps and what we want more of in our connections. We are moving from the intense inner search of the last few weeks to a more outer-directed work. The question that now emerges is both simple and profound: What is my vision for Love in My Life?
The Pivot Point: From Inner Healing to Outer Creating
If you are following along in the book, Week 4 represents a crucial pivot in this journey of
transformation. After weeks of excavating old patterns, releasing limiting beliefs, and healing past wounds in weeks 1, 2 and 3, we now turn our attention outward. This isn’t about abandoning the inner work—it’s about integrating what we’ve learned and using it as fuel for conscious creation.
Think of it like this: if the first three weeks were about clearing the garden of weeds, Week 4 is now about planting the seeds of what we actually want to grow.
The Challenge: Clarity Amid Possibility
As we try to set up a vision, one of the primary challenges many of us face is the overwhelm of possibility. While we have done the deep work of clearing our blocks, we are faced with an open field of potential. This can feel both exhilarating and paralyzing.
What are some common Week 4 struggles?
When setting up a vision, we are stuck with what we don’t want and often paralyzed to define what we DO want. Some things that emerge:
- Fear that we’ll choose the “wrong” vision and waste our progress
- Difficulty distinguishing between ego desires and authentic heart longings
The antidote to many of these challenges lies in approaching our visioning work with both intention and intuition. This isn't about creating a rigid checklist for our future partner—it’s about getting clear on the feeling and essence of the love we want to experience. Here is a story.
Fabiana’s Story: From Confusion to Clarity (names changed for privacy)
Let me share the story of Fabiana, a client who beautifully illustrates the Week 4 transformation. When Fabiana first came to me, she was heartbroken to have to go to her younger sister’s wedding without a partner. At 34, she’d spent years in relationships that looked good on paper, and with her family, but left her feeling disconnected and unseen.
“I keep attracting men who do not see me, or are too busy. I end up over giving and being the adult in the room, instead of being myself,” she told me during our first session. “I don’t even know what I actually want anymore.”
Fabiana had completed Weeks 1-3 of the “Calling in the One” process, uncovering patterns
rooted in her childhood expectations, to be the “perfect daughter.” She’d done the inner work of recognizing how she’d been choosing partners to please her parents rather than her heart.
But when Week 4 arrived, Fabiana hit a wall.
The Challenge Moment: “I sit down to do the visioning work, and my mind goes blank,” she shared. “Or worse, I start listing qualities that sound like I’m ordering from a catalog. ‘Tall, dark, successful, wants kids…’ But that’s just my head talking. I can’t feel anything.”
The Breakthrough: We worked together on the heart-centered visioning meditation. Instead of focusing on what her partner should look like or achieve, I guided Fabiana to imagine how she wanted to feel in love.
“Close your eyes,” I said. “Forget about finding someone. Instead, imagine yourself in a
relationship where you feel completely safe to be yourself. What does that feel like in your
body?
Fabiana was quiet for several minutes. Then tears started flowing.
“I feel… relaxed,” she whispered. I feel like every day is Christmas, like I can breathe fully. I’m laughing, and it is real laughter, not polite laughter. I’m wearing my soccer tee shirt, playing with my team and he is in the bleachers, cheering me on.
The Solution: Intentional Visioning and Heart-Centered Clarity
Key Questions for Week 4 Reflection:
- How do I want to feel in my ideal relationship?
- What values are non-negotiable for me in partnership?
- What patterns from my past am I committed to not repeating?
- How has my relationship with myself shifted through this inner work?
- What would love look like if I truly believed I was worthy of it?
Mindful Practice:
Here is a Heart-Centered Visioning Meditation to connect with your authentic desires.
Find a quiet space and begin with three deep breaths, allowing your body to settle.
Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Feel the rhythm of your heartbeat and the rise and fall of your breath.
Now, imagine yourself one year from now, living in the love you desire. Don't focus on specific physical details of a partner—instead, tune into the felt sense of this love.
Ask yourself:
- How does my body feel in this loving relationship?
- What energy surrounds me and my partner?
- How do we communicate? How do we handle conflict?
- What activities and experiences do we share?
- How do I show up as my most authentic self?
Spend 10-15 minutes in this visualization, allowing images, feelings, and insights to arise
naturally. When you’re ready, journal about what came up, focusing on the emotions and
qualities rather than specific details.
Integration: From Vision to Aligned Action
Week 4 isn’t just about dreaming—it’s about beginning to align your daily life with your vision.
This might mean:
- Adjusting how you present yourself on dating apps to reflect your authentic self
- Changing the types of social activities you engage in
- Setting new boundaries that honor your worth
- Practicing the communication skills you want to bring to your future relationship
The Relationship Dynamic at Play
What’s fascinating about Calling in “The One’s” Week 4 is how it mirrors a crucial dynamic in healthy relationships: the balance between individual vision and shared creation. Just as you’re learning to hold your own vision while remaining open to love, healthy partnerships require maintaining your individual identity while co-creating something beautiful together.
The Vision Emerges: From that felt sense, Fabiana’s authentic vision began to take shape:
- A partnership built on genuine friendship and easy communication
- Someone who appreciated her quirky humor and intellectual curiosity
- Shared values around personal growth and meaningful work
- The feeling of being cherished for who she truly was, not who she thought she should be
The Aligned Action: With this clarity, Fabiana began making different choices:
- She started getting clearer about how to date and who to date
- She practiced vulnerability by sharing more authentically with friends
- She started to learn how to build healthy boundaries
The Beautiful Result: Four months later, Fabiana met Gaspar at work. He showed up for her, admired her and offered friendship. Their first conversation lasted three hours as they discovered a shared passion for commitment and honest connection.
“What’s different about Gaspar,” Fabiana reflected, “is that I never feel like I’m performing or saving anyone. I don’t need to save. I’m just… me. And he loves that person.”
Fabiana’s transformation wasn’t about finding the “right” person—it was about getting clear on what authentic love felt like to her and then living in alignment with that vision.
Your Invitation Forward
Fabiana’s story illustrates that Week 4’s visioning work isn’t about creating a wish list—it’s about connecting with the felt sense of the love you truly desire and then aligning your choices with that energy.
The journey to Calling in “the One” ultimately begins with becoming clear on who you are and what you truly desire. Week 4 is your invitation to step into that clarity with courage and compassion.